


5 times Jiho's heart got broken and one time it didn't

by Drago



Category: Block B, Winner (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Dubious Consent, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of rough sex, Panic Attacks, Yukwon/Jiho/Jaehyo friendship, a whole band of assholes, bottom!Zico, insecure!Zico, sad Zico
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 10:09:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12252222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drago/pseuds/Drago
Summary: Jiho just wants to belong, but it seems like no one wants him to stay.





	5 times Jiho's heart got broken and one time it didn't

**Author's Note:**

> My first 5+1 because Zico gives me feels. Comment and like if you enjoyed it (tho I did write it rather quickly).

1.  
It starts with Hanhae. It starts with Cho Joonghoon kicking him out, but keeping Jiho. Everyone is bitter about it, they want to stay together, and his relationship with Hanhae started because of it. But recently Hanhae started pulling away, at least emotionally. They still have sex, and that’s… Hanhae’s timing is shit, always has been, so Jiho isn’t in the least surprised when the older boy breaks up with him right after they had sex, Hanhae’s dick still half-hard inside him.  
“I can’t do it anymore.”  
“Do what?”  
“You stayed,” Hanhae says accusingly instead of answering.  
“What other choice do I have? If I break the contract I will have to pay. With what money? My family is poor, you know that.”  
It’s all true, even if he wanted to leave, Jiho has to stay because it’s the only thing he can afford. He wants to be in a band with Hanhae and Minho, but it doesn’t mean anything. He is in no position to make demands. Maybe one day he will be allowed to make his own choices, but not yet.  
“Still, I simply can’t. Okay, Jiho? I can’t be with you like that.”  
And that’s it. They are done, and Jiho is left behind with Hanhae’s release staining the inside of his thighs and a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.  
(Years later Hanhae will come to Show Me The Money and ask Jiho for help, behind the scenes. And Jiho will smile until his face hurts, and wish him good luck. And maybe be a little happy when Hanhae gets eliminated.)

 

2.  
“We are not a couple, you know that, right?” Joonyoung asks one day, and Jiho stills, elbows-deep in soapy water. They’ve been hanging out a lot lately, going out to the restaurants and then going home to enjoy themselves a little more. They never discussed what they are, so he just assumed that they were heading towards the relationship. It seemed obvious. Apparently not. Maybe he gets attached too easily, maybe he is the problem.  
“So you don’t want to date?” he asks, trying to sound casual. Judging from the easy smile he gets in return, he succeeds.  
“Not really. I like my freedom. And I like to sleep around, there are so many people out there...”  
That hurts. Jiho wasn’t aware they were allowed to sleep with other people, it didn’t cross his mind. Even if he knew, he wouldn’t do it, but at least he wouldn’t grow as fond of Joonyoung as he did. They would have stayed friends. It would be easy. Painless. And now he can’t have either of these things because he will never be able to look at the older man without remembering the noises he makes when he comes, or the way his skin turns red when someone jerks him off. It’s not something you want to think about when you look at a friend. Jiho can’t do it.  
“I guess we will stick to being friends,” he lies with a smile. He knows exactly what’s going to happen. They will fuck few more times, meet up few more, and then they will slowly drift apart, their relationship reduced to sending Christmas and birthday cards once a year. If even that.  
Jiho will be okay, he always is. A little more bruised, slightly more bitter, but okay.

3.  
His relationship with Jaebeom turns out to be a complete disaster, something he couldn’t predict. It’s purely physical and unexpected. One second they are swapping ideas and working on a beat that will never be published, another there are clothes all over the place and Jaebeom is pressing Jiho against the door, fucking him like there’s no tomorrow.  
That’s what they do, talk music and fuck. And while the first part is more than alright, the second one turns out to be more than Jiho can handle. He is no virgin, he has his kinks and likes to think that he is pretty open-minded. He doesn’t bat an eyelash when Jaebeom brings a cute guy for them to share. But then the older rapper gets more and more adventurous, and one night Jiho finds himself with one hand still cuffed to the headboard, having a panic attack while Jaebeom stares at him in silence. He is uncomfortably sore, and his cheeks are wet, but he doesn’t remember crying. He is too busy fighting for every breathe while his mind kept screaming at him to RUN, ESCAPE and GET AWAY.  
It takes almost forty minutes for him to calm down, and he is still embarrassingly naked once he can look at Jaebeom again.  
“You are still a kid, after all,” the older man says, disappointment obvious in his voice. “You can’t handle what I need.”  
Yukwon tells Jiho later that Jaebeom is a selfish asshole and offers to beat him up, but it does nothing to fix the damage that’s been done. Jiho already knows that he is not what people need.

4.  
It’s especially obvious when Hyuk cheats on him. Months after Jaebeom, Jiho thinks that he finally found a soulmate. Hyuk is sweet and affectionate, and likes to do all the silly things his previous boyfriends shied away from. He seems perfect, so Jiho ignores Yukwon when his friend tells him to be careful. He should know that there is no such thing as ‘perfect’, especially not in their world.  
Jiho’s never been cheated on before, so he doesn’t notice the signs, if there even are any because Hyuk tells him the sweetest things when they are alone. And then Jiho comes over early because there’s been a change in his schedule, and sees Hyuk going down on a pretty girl with long hair and big boobs. Jiho doesn’t want to stare too much, doesn’t want to embarrass her, but she is, well… she is the exact opposite of him. It would be easier if Hyuk cheated with a guy.  
He hears Hyuk saying something about a _threesome_ and _having fun together_ , and that it doesn’t have to mean anything. Hyuk is still talking when Jiho leaves, and few minutes later the girl finds him dry heaving next to the trash can outside the vocalist’s apartment.  
She apologizes profusely and it’s fine, Jiho isn’t actually angry at her. It’s not her fault that Hyuk is a player. They end up spending the night together in a pub, drinking soju bombs and chasing them with peanuts because it’s the only food the place has to offer. Jiho throws up for real and learns new tricks on how to put on a lipstick perfectly.  
He ends the night with bright pink tint staining his lips and sends approximately ten selfies to Kyung, Jaehyo and Yukwon, asking if he is finally pretty enough. He doesn’t like their answers because they tell him he was pretty before, and that’s a lie.

5.  
Minho happens _after_ Show Me The Money. It’s completely unplanned, but Jiho goes with it because he needs to be wanted. And the way Minho wants him… No one has ever wanted him like that before. It’s a bit rough, a lot crazy, simply exhilarating. They don’t go on dates because everyone recognizes them at this point, and they would attract too much attention. But Jiho helps Minho with his music, they order in, watch movies and talk for hours, and it’s just as good as going outside for dates. If not better, because it’s just the two of them and sometimes Jiho is tired of being surrounded by people. He is not really a people person, he likes his friends and that’s about it. Minho used to be like him, that’s why they got along so well.  
Jiho writes a lot for Minho, even though none of it will ever have his name on it. And Minho starts changing. The more popular Winner gets, the stranger Minho becomes. He forgets to cancel their meetings, and Jiho ends up waiting for as long as he can, which isn’t all that long anyways because he is busy too. So it’s three, four hours of calling and texting, and getting nothing in return. When he tries to talk about it when they finally meet, Minho isn’t exactly aggressive, but he does physically shove Jiho away once or twice to avoid talking to him.  
Winner’s popularity blows up seemingly overnight, but Minho conveniently forgets that it’s Jiho who helped him. Them. The other guys are more grateful when they see him, as rare as it is. The younger rapper… Well, Minho breaks up with him on a lovely, Sunday morning, right before Jiho is supposed to go to the church.  
“I can’t be in a relationship now, not when there are so many opportunities waiting for me out there,” and Jiho doesn’t know if he means work or the willing bodies of people who are way more beautiful than he ever will be. “The relationship would be a burden right now.”  
Jiho smiles and nods, and spends the whole mass in his car, crying like a baby. 

“It would be easier if one of you was gay. Or even both of you,” Jiho whispers into Yukwon’s sweater, Jaehyo’s solid body pressing against his back, grounding him  
“Yeah, it would be,” Yukwon agrees and kisses his temple. They spend the next few minutes in silence, because what’s there to say, really. We are sorry all of your boyfriends were assholes? We are sorry that they used you for their own pleasure and then left you behind? Jiho knows all of this, he doesn’t need to hear it again.  
After a while, the rapper mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like, “I should get a nose job.”  
And Yukwon wants to march to Minho’s dorm with a sledgehammer he doesn’t even own. “Why would you want to do that?”  
“Maybe they would stay longer then.”  
“You know we have nothing against surgeries. Minhyuk’s was a godsend, and we supported Kyung’s decision to fix his chin,” Jaehyo finally speaks up. “But that’s because they genuinely wanted it. You are not going to fix your problems with a surgery, Jiho. And you are plenty pretty.”  
“Not as pretty as you,” Jiho says with a hint of sass.  
“No. Then again, who is?” it earns him a smack, but the youngest man laughs a bit, and that’s more than they could hope for.  
When Jihoon comes back from the interview, he promises not to talk to Minho ever again. Jiho doesn’t want to destroy their relationship, after all they are best friends, but Jihoon stares at him earnestly and says that Jiho is more important. And it reminds the rapper why exactly he chose to stay when YG was chasing him again. 

__(When few weeks later Namjoon asks him out, Jiho says no. Not because he dislikes the other rapper, but because he knows that Namjoon idolizes him a little too much. Jiho isn’t a trophy that can be placed at the mantel and admired. He is a real person and wants to be treated as such, even if – more often than not – it means getting hurt.)_ _

+1  
Kyung is a freak who attached himself to Jiho when they were kids and then refused to leave. At least that’s how Jiho used to view him at first. Now he still thinks Kyung is a freak, but he likes him a lot, so that’s okay. Besides, Jiho isn’t doesn’t really know what’s normal anymore. It keeps changing too fast for him to follow.  
The thing is, Kyung is always there for him, even when Jiho thinks he doesn’t want his help. So it’s hard to notice things, at least that’s how he justifies the fact that he didn’t realize Kyung loves him. It’s Yukwon who tells him this without beating around the bush, “He would be good for you, I think.”  
Then Kyung kisses him one day, and it’s gross at first because Jiho still remembers the days when the older boy looked like an ugly nerd with no game, but something makes him keep his eyes closed and accept the second kiss. It’s much better.  
Kyung is protective, obviously jealous of other boys, even their friends, but he never crosses the line between acceptable jealousy and creepy possessiveness, no matter what the fangirls say. Jiho feels safe and loved, and when Kyung takes him to bed it’s not because he wants the pleasure, but because he wants to make Jiho feel good.  
Jiho regrets not seeing it before. He could avoid all that pain if only he paid more attention. But what’s done is done, and the only thing he can do is focus on the future which doesn’t seem so bad anymore. Kyung has loved him for years and knows him better than anyone else. And he is not going to leave. 


End file.
